Read more about the article Can I Begin ‘The Talk’ with My Aging Parents?
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Can I Begin ‘The Talk’ with My Aging Parents?

Too many families wait until it’s too late. A sudden illness, a medical emergency, or an unexpected decline can leave loved ones scrambling—unsure of what to do, powerless to make decisions, and haunted by the fear of dishonoring their parents’ wishes. These are not just difficult conversations; they are essential lifelines.

Talking now, while your parents are still healthy, clear-minded, and able to express themselves, gives you the precious ability to honor them when they cannot speak for themselves. This is not about prying into private matters. It is about love, protection, and respect. It is about ensuring their voice is heard, even in silence.

Start by making your intentions crystal clear: you are not trying to control them. You are preparing to protect them. In a crisis, you need to know how to act—not guess, not argue with siblings, not hope you’re doing the right thing. You need certainty.

Ask the hard questions. Do they have a will? Who have they chosen as power of attorney and healthcare agent? Where are these critical documents stored? If they’ve entrusted advisors with their estate, do you know how to reach them? Without this knowledge, even the most loving family can be thrown into chaos when emergencies strike.

Do not shy away from money discussions. Finances may feel taboo, but what happens if bills go unpaid while your parent is in the hospital? Do you know how they handle their accounts, where their income comes from, or how to access a safe deposit box if needed? In a moment of crisis, these details can mean the difference between stability and disorder.

And then there is healthcare, the conversation no one wants to have, but everyone must. Who will make decisions if they cannot? Do they want every possible medical intervention, or do they want comfort and dignity? Leaving these questions unanswered is not an act of kindness, it is a burden that will fall on you.

Long-term care, too, cannot be ignored. Nearly everyone wants to remain in their home, but reality often forces difficult transitions to assisted living or nursing care. Planning for this now, through insurance, Medicaid preparation, or documented wishes, avoids desperate choices later.

Finally, face the ultimate question: what do they want after death? Funerals, burial wishes, and memorials. When these are not discussed, grieving families are left with confusion, guilt, and conflict. A simple written record can spare everyone unnecessary pain.

Yes, these conversations are uncomfortable. But ask yourself, what is more uncomfortable? An honest talk today, or a family torn apart tomorrow by uncertainty and regret?

Do not wait for a crisis. Do not assume you’ll “figure it out” later. Take action. Sit down with your parents. Ask the questions. Write down the answers. Protect them, protect yourself, and protect your family.

And remember, you don’t have to do this alone. Many families find peace of mind by involving one of our trusted estate planning attorneys to guide the discussion, ask the right questions, and ensure nothing is overlooked.

This is not just “The Talk.” It is the gift of clarity, love, and security. And it cannot wait.

Reference: Investopedia (July 7, 2025) “How to Have ‘The Talk’ With Your Parents: The Financial Discussion You Can’t Avoid Forever”

How Do I Reduce My Blended Family Fighting Concerning My Estate Plan? – Annapolis and Towson Estate Planning

The IRS recently announced that in 2020, the first $11.58 million of a taxable estate is free from federal estate taxes. Therefore, a vast majority of estates won’t have to pay federal estate taxes. However, a TD Wealth survey at the 53rd Annual Heckerling Institute on Estate Planning found that family conflict was identified as the leading threat to estate planning.

Investment News’ recent article, “Reducing potential family conflicts,” explains that a blended family can result from multiple marriages, children from a current or former marriage, or children involved in multiple marriages. There are more “blended families” in the U.S. than ever before. More fighting over estate planning occurs in blended families.

The key element in any conflict resolution is open and honest communication. It’s especially the case, when it involves a blended family. In many instances, it’s best to explain a proposed estate plan to the family in advance.

If anyone objects, listen to their point of view and try to be empathetic to their position. You may wind up with a compromise, or, if no changes are made, at least the family member had an opportunity to air their grievances.

One potential solution to minimize conflicts within a blended family may be a prenuptial agreement. The agreement is signed prior to the marriage and outlines the financial rights of each spouse, in the event of a divorce or death. Prenups are particularly useful in second marriages, especially when there is a disparity in age and wealth between the parties.

However, not every married couple in a blended family has a prenuptial agreement. Even if they do, blended families can still have family conflicts in estate planning.

It is important to remember communication, reducing the chances of a will contest with a “no-contest” clause, asking your attorney about a revocable living trust and compromise.

Estate planning can be particularly difficult for blended families. Talk with an experienced estate planning attorney about the techniques that can help reduce potential family conflicts.

Reference: Investment News (December 9, 2019) “Reducing potential family conflicts”

Sims & Campbell, LLC – Annapolis and Towson Estate Planning Attorneys

Having “The Talk” – Resources to Help You Talk About End of Life Needs – Annapolis and Towson Estate Planning

When it comes to thinking about the end of our lives, it can be uncomfortable. Perhaps you’ve thought a lot about how you want the end of your life to look, but you’re having trouble initiating a conversation with your loved ones. Perhaps you’re the adult child of aging parents who have not mentioned their end-of-life wishes. This is a conversation that should not be put off any longer. This article provides resources to get the conversation started, so that you and your loved ones are on the same page regarding end-of-life issues.

Preparing for the Conversation

We often don’t talk about difficult things with family, because we don’t know where to start or we don’t have the words to broach the subject. It can be helpful to sit down and outline what your goals are in the conversation. For example,

  • Putting finances in order
  • Ensuring a family member or pet is taken care of
  • Alerting loved ones to an important or upsetting health issue
  • Informing loved ones, as to who you want as your health care proxy

This list can get pretty long, so it’s essential to write things down in advance to help keep you on track. One resource we’ve found that is useful at this stage is The Conversation Project’s Conversation Starter Kit. This 11-page guide consists of fillable forms designed to help you plan and guide the conversation with your loved ones.

Educating Loved Ones

Sometimes, priming yourself and your loved ones can provide a starting point for the end-of-life conversation. Podcasts are a popular way for people to learn new things. -Why not end-of-life care options? Here’s a list of several popular podcasts addressing end-of-life issues that you can subscribe to and share with your friends and family:

Finding the Words

Whether you are thinking about your own future or the future of an aging loved one, it can be hard to find the right time and the right words to begin a conversation. The truth is, this doesn’t have to be one single, heavy conversation. You can lead up to longer, more in-depth discussions using a few smaller conversations that can happen at any time. Consider these conversation-starters:

  • “I was thinking about what happened to Aunt Sally, and it made me realize…”
  • “My friend Louis died suddenly last month, leaving his wife and daughter reeling. I’m worried that might happen to you and dad.”
  • “You know, I’m okay right now, but I’m worried that _____, and I want to be prepared.”
  • “I need your help thinking about the future.”
  • “Remember when Uncle Fred died and everyone said it was a ‘good death’? How can we make sure yours is too?”

Talking about end-of-life issues can be difficult. However, it’s a conversation worth having to ensure you face your last years, months, days and hours on your own terms.

Resources:

The Conversation Project. “Starter Kits.” (Accessed November 28, 2019)  https://theconversationproject.org/

ARRP. Org. “Caregiver Life Balance.” (Accessed November 28, 2019) https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/life-balance/info-2017/talk-end-of-life-care.html

Sims & Campbell, LLC – Annapolis and Towson Estate Planning Attorneys

How Blended Families Can Address Finances and Inheritance Issues – Annapolis and Towson Estate Planning

The holiday season is a popular time for people to get engaged, including people who have been married before. If that’s you, understand that blending families means you’ll need to deal with inheritance and finance issues, says U.S. News & World Report’s article “6 Financial Considerations for Remarriage.” The best time to have these conversations is before you walk down the aisle, not afterwards.

Look at your budget and talk about how things will work. That includes day-to-day expenses, monthly expenses and large purchases, like houses, vacations, and cars. Talk about a game plan for going forward. Will you merge your credit card accounts or bank accounts? What about investment accounts?

Financial obligations outside of the marriage. Two things to check before you wed: your divorce papers and the state’s laws. Does anything change regarding your spousal support (alimony) or child support, if you remarry? It’s unlikely that you would lose child support, but the court may determine it can be reduced. The person who is paying child support or alimony also needs to be transparent about their financial obligations.

Review insurance and beneficiaries. One of the biggest mistakes people make, is failing to update beneficiaries on numerous accounts. If your divorce papers do not require life insurance to be left for your spouse on behalf of your children (and some do), then you probably want to make your new spouse the beneficiary of life insurance policies. Investment accounts, bank account, and any other assets where a beneficiary can be named should be reviewed and updated. It’s a simple task, but overlooking it creates all kinds of havoc and frustration for survivors.

What will remarriage do to college financing options? A second marriage may increase a parent’s income for college purposes and make children ineligible for college loans or needs-based scholarships. Even if the newly married couple has not blended their finances, FAFSA looks at total household income. Talk about how each member of the couple plans on managing college expenses.

A new estate plan should be addressed, even before the wedding takes place. Remember, an estate plan is for more than distributing assets. It includes planning for incapacity, including Do Not Resuscitate Orders (DNR), powers of attorney for finances and for health care, designations of guardianship or consent to adoption, various trusts and if needed, Special Needs planning.

Create a plan for inheritance. If either spouse has children from a prior marriage, an estate plan is critical to protect the children’s inheritance. If one spouse dies and the surviving spouse inherits everything, there is no legal requirement for the surviving spouse to pass any of the deceased’s assets to their children. Even if you are in mid-life and death seems far away, you need to take care of this.

Speak with an estate planning attorney who can help you create the necessary documents. You should also talk with your children, at the age appropriate level, about your plans, so they understand that they are being planned for and will be taken care of in the new family.

Reference: U.S. News & World Report (Nov. 18, 2019) “6 Financial Considerations for Remarriage”

Sims & Campbell, LLC – Annapolis and Towson Estate Planning Attorneys

‘Someday’ Is Sooner than You Think – Annapolis and Towson Estate Planning

The cause for sleepless nights for many now comes from worrying about aging parents. As parents age, it becomes more important to talk with them about a number of “someday” issues, advises Kanawha Metro in the article “Preparing for someday.” As their lives move into the elder years, your discussions will need to address housing, finances and end-of-life wishes.

Where do your parents want to spend their later years? It may be that they want to move to an active retirement community not far from where they live now, or they may want a complete change of scenery, perhaps in a warmer climate.

One family made arrangements for their mother to take a tour of a nearby senior-living community after their father passed. By showing their mother the senior-living community, they made an unknown, slightly intimidating thing into a familiar and attractive possibility. Because she saw the facility with no pressure, just a tour and lunch, she knew what kind of options it presented. The building was clean and pretty and the staff was friendly. Therefore, it was a positive experience. She was able to picture herself living there.

Money becomes an issue as parents age. If the person who always handled the family finances passes away, often the surviving spouse is left trying to figure out what has been done for the last five decades. A professional can help, especially if they have had a long-standing relationship.

However, when illness or an injury takes the surviving spouse out of the picture, even for a little while, things can get out of control fast. It only takes a few weeks of not being able to write checks or manage finances to demonstrate the wisdom of having children or a trusted person named with a power of attorney to be able to pay bills and manage the household.

As parents age and their health becomes fragile, they need help with doctor appointments. Having a child or trusted adult go with them to speak up on their behalf, or explain any confusing matters, is very important.

Having an estate plan in place is another part of the business of aging that needs to be accomplished. It may be helpful to go with your parents to meet with an estate planning attorney to create documents that include a last will and testament, durable power of attorney and advanced health care directive. Without these documents, executing their estate or helping them if they become incapacitated will be more complex and more costly.

Eliminate a scavenger hunt by making sure that at least two siblings know where the originals of these documents are.

One of the more difficult conversations has to do with end-of-life and funeral arrangements. Where do your parents want to be buried, or do they want to be cremated? What should be done with their remains?

What do they want to be done with their personal belongings? Are there certain items that they want to be given to certain members of the family, or other people they care for? One family used masking tape and a marker to write the names of the people they wanted to receive certain items.

Finally, what do they want to happen to their pets? If there is a family member who says they will take their parent’s pet, can that person be trusted to follow through? There needs to be a Plan A, Plan B and Plan C so that the beloved pet can be assured a long and comfortable life after their owner has passed.

Yes, these are difficult conversations. However, not having them can lead to far more difficult issues. Knowing what your loved ones wish to happen, and making it enforceable with an estate plan, provides everyone in the family with peace of mind.

Reference: Kanawha Metro (May 29, 2019) “Preparing for someday”

Sims & Campbell, LLC – Annapolis and Towson Estate Planning Attorneys 

Passing the Family Business to the Next Generation – Annapolis and Towson Estate Planning

Creating a succession plan for a family business needs awareness of more than just spreadsheets, says the article “How to plan for a smooth transition of your family business” from North Bay Business Journal.

Family owned vineyards or farms face challenges, when one or two children have chosen to work in the business. Sometimes there is preferential treatment, either with economics or voting and control of the business.

Estate planning attorneys can serve as sounding boards in creating a balance between what will be best for the business and what will work to maintain peace and cohesiveness in the family. With experience in guiding families through this process, they are able to provide an unbiased view and can be helpful, when hard decisions need to be made.

Another part of the plan is having the family and the estate planning attorney meet with other professionals, such as a wealth manager and CPAs. This is especially helpful when the owners are reluctant to talk about what is happening in the business with their children, before clarifying their own thoughts about the business.

Taking time to step back and gain some perspective before holding a family meeting where decisions are made will give the owners more clarity.

A succession plan often starts a business plan. Once there is a plan for the future of the business, it’s an easier transition to financial and estate planning. Taking these steps can help the business be successful. Any business will run better when the numbers and projections for future growth are in place. Banks and other lenders look favorably on a company that has its financial reports in place.

This also permits tax planning to be done properly. In some cases, transferring a business or other asset while the owner is still living can be beneficial in the long run, even with today’s higher federal estate tax exemptions.

Lifetime gifts can be a way to reduce estate taxes because making a gift today, before there has been substantial appreciation, is one way to leverage the gift and estate tax exemption. Let’s say an asset is valued at $1 million, but at the time of your death it may be valued at $8 million. By giving it today, you can use less of your lifetime exemption.

To transfer the business to one or more children and give them an opportunity to succeed on their own, through their own efforts, consider bringing them in as a responsible manager with some ownership.

A gradual approach in transferring control of a business is a wise move, say experts. One family put their real estate holdings into an entity that gave some ownership interests to each of their children, but one of them was appointed as the manager.

Reference: North Bay Business Journal (April 9, 2019) “How to plan for a smooth transition of your family business”

Sims & Campbell, LLC – Annapolis and Towson Estate Planning Attorneys